Light skin, good hair PLEEEZEE!!

So we had an excellent weekend at home in Chicago Heights and there is so much to write about. But, on my walk today I remembered an incident that I wanted to share from this weekend.

So my family and I were shopping at marshall's (we roll deep so it was three adults and five kids) and one of my beloved nieces said Maya Sanaa is so pretty with her light skin. We were in different aisles but I heard her and quickly replied its not her light skin that makes her pretty. My other niece laughed at me knowing that that one comment would have me in a tizzy for the rest of the day, well weekend, well week. And she is right.

This is not the only time people have commented on Pook's hair and complexion. At a department luncheon one white woman colleague was actually holding Pook, playing in her hair and commented, she has good hair, not like another colleague's baby girl who was playing nearby and is a little bit older than Pook. yes, you got me right. She compared them based on hair texture out loud. Someone overheard and co-signed, yes her hair is really good.

Oh my goodnesss. where to begin. Now I do not want Pook to have a complex about her complexion or suffer from "light skin guilt" as a friend of mine recently put it. Its just that I hate it when people reduce Pook's defining characteristics to her hair and skin color. Yes, her skin is what other people call light, I know this and won't deny it. But, assigning any kind of positive value to Pook based on her hair or complexion really pisses me off. She is not pretty because of her hair texture or skin color. If you asked me Pook is really pretty because she loves to laugh, can already sing a song, and is extremely curious. I think she is pretty because she looks like BOTH her parents. This is what makes her lovable plus soooooooo much more.

As a mother, I am not sure how to deal with other people's issues. I know the way society views Pook will not be what is valued in our home. The trick is how to deal with these situations in public. The tragedy is that I am even having this as an issue when Pook is just nine months old. I mean c'mon!

Just for the record my mother didn't buy into this crap. When I came home and told my mother, people say I got good hair she gave me that look and told me that all hair is good hair. And I believed her. Although I know people judged my blackness based on hair and skin- my mother's opinion is what mattered most to me. I hope that Pook feels the same. I hope that she knows that what makes someone attractive are their talents, personal gifts and skills, personality, etc. I need Pook to know that God does not favor "light skin and good hair". I really hope she understands the history involved in why some black people have blue eyes and some black people have green and some black people have brown eyes. And all of it is good.

You already know we are reading books that demonstrate the diversity of black people's appearances, experiences, languages, and customs. We will travel the globe. And I hope that my family and friends help me out as much as they can on this one!