Mommy Meltdown

Thanks to a conversation with Miyoshi I am just about clear enough to blog the drama that was this morning.

The FACTS:
I drop Pook off at daycare yesterday around 9am.
There is a permission slip to take the kids (all under 2 mind you) to McDonalds requesting my signature and $2.
Some kid bit Pook at daycare yesterday at approximately 11:30am.
I called to check in on Pook and was told she is happy happy no tears at noon.
Pook tripped at daycare and has a big knot on her head.
Dad picks Pook up and reports this all to me.

Tears, frustration, questions, decisions, nosatisfaction, grief, pain, hurt, uncertainty.

Today:
I drop Pook off at daycare.
I tell the teacher we don't do McDonalds.
Teacher informs me the 2 year old class is at capacity so there aren't any other options.
I contemplate quitting my job. There are always options!
I speak to the director about the bitting, our misleading phone conversation, and the complete stupidity of a "fieldtrip" for under 2 year olds to McDonalds. I use my nice words.
I decide I can't quit my job.
I reluctantly go to sign permission for her to go to McDonalds -against my better judgement but only because of U.s. capitalist constraints that structure labor, race, educational, gender, health, and mothering inequalities.
Teacher informs me that dad already signed permission for her to go yesterday.
"He what?" "Well, did he pay the fee?"
"No" the teacher replied.
Pook cries No!! Mommy!!
Pook doesn't want to stay and I don't want to leaver her.

curse, tears, questions, uncertainty, burdened, violence, sadness, hurt, anger, pissedoffedness

Dear God, (miyoshi I told u I would pray about it)
Please grant me the mercy to not hurt or harm well meaning but very stupid adults.
Please make this the last dumb fieldtrip to MCDonalds
Please allow me to win the lottery even though I don't play so I can move to a very beautiful country, never work again, and enjoy painting and dancing with my beautiful healthy daughter.
Please allow Pook to recognize the demon biter-kid and stay very far away from her. Or use karate.
Please bless the McDonald workers and lead them to wash their hands and at least use fresh grease today.
Please open the eyes of her teacher and infuse her with a new interest in healthy, critical pedgagogy, informed by social justice making her the first under 2 year old teacher to successfully implement this new kind of curriculum in the classroom- I even wish her Oprah appearances.
Please create a spirit of "Hell No!" ala Sophia in the color purple in this newmommy so that this situation never ever happens again.

All these things I ask in your name.
Amen and Ache!